Walk Jokes

What has a million and one legs but still can't walk?

Jerry's kids.

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What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

A: Should we walk home or take a dog

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

What do you call Jimmy Savile walking down the street?

British ... a paedestrian... *grabs coat, shuffles out of room in silent shame*

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?

but they don't stop long enough for you to reply!

What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator?

This place rocks!"

What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters?

Noe(L)...no "L"

What's the difference between a camel and a Russian?

A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking.

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Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's it called when Jesus walks across the street?

A cross walk

How do you walk a dog with no legs?

You don't, you pick it up.

What did Virginia get when she walked into the pet shop?

state joke) A New Hampshire

What did the sunbathing mother say to Michael Jackson as he walked by on the beach?

Would you please move You're in my sun.

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What flavor gum does the President prefer?

Governmint Ill walk myself to the nearest border

Why do the English always carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

How's your narcissism?

Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* opens window HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"

What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie?

Then I can bang other chicks "

Why do baby ducks walk softly?

Because they can't walk, hardly.

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

AU, get outta here!"

Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry?

I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

What has four legs but can't walk?

A chair.

What is it called when you walk away from your banana cream pie in the Sahara?

Deserting your dessert in the desert. I feel some banana jokes about to be inserted in this thread tho

Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk?

A: Anytime he wants to go.

Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

What's green and walks through walls?

A: Casper the Friendly Pickle.

How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Walks away*

How about pets?

That's fine" dog walks in and lights up "We'll take it"

What does the man say when he walks into the bar?

Can I please get a drink "

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

Two guys walk into a bar . . .

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

An IPv6 packet is walking out of the house.

He goes nowhere.

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

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