Cross Jokes

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop. I'll show myself out.

Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road?

Because they wanted to be taken to the other side.

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.

What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?

Well, the cross was a big plus

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

There was a traffic jam.

What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?

Sir Loin!

What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer?

The Netcracker suite.

What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?

A: Curly hare.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ?

The Baaahaaamaaas !

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?

Something that stinks and stings!

What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ?

A dirty kid !

What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?

A: Oil of Ole'

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes?

PETA

Why'd the British man cross the ocean?

Freedom.

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?

I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

a retarded gorilla

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?

Menachem Vegan

What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a maltese shih tzu?

An abortion.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?

A fangster.

How do American chickens cross the road?

In a bucket.

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ?

A spooksman !

What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?

Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?

Snakes and Larders !sna

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

ah wait, i can't remember the rest :/

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

Why did spider-man cross the road?

To get to the *web*site !! *ba-dum-tsss*

What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man?

A: A car thief who can't drive!

What do you call a cross between a dog and a turtle?

A cross. The animals around it have no effect on its name duh.

Why did the redditor cross the subreddit?

To recycle a joke from the other side.

What do you call a cross between Communism and Theocracy?

Communionism

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team?

The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts.

What do you get when you cross and elephant with a giraffe?

elephantgiraffesin()

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road?

Because it's a chicken.

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia?

Thrown in a lake.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?

A stupid Cupid!

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over?

Because he's a dirty double crosser.

What do you get when you cross Folger's and Smuckers?

Smolger's. &lt.&lt

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?

A computer with a lot of bites !

What do you get when you cross a moose with a Mexican?

A Mexican moose

Why did the chicken double-cross the road?

To change sides.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?

Hare spray.

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Why did the stoner cross the road?

A: Who else would follow a chicken

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Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent?

They roll their J's.

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

Skeleton Jokes More Skeleton Jokes

How does a skeleton call her friends?

On a telebone.

Why don't skeletons get sick?

Because they always have an anti-body

Aboriginal Jokes More Aboriginal Jokes

What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench?

One you sit on and the other is a park bench.

What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian?

What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian? A half decent person.

Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile?

A: An animal that talks your head off.

Why are lions more religious than other animals?

They prey regularly.

Dirt Jokes More Dirt Jokes

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

What do people store their fondest memories in?

A nostaljar.

Multiply Jokes More Multiply Jokes

Why can't white Tumb1r girls divide or multiply by two?

Because they can't even

Why did the integer stop multiplying with other integers of equal value?

He was Squared Straight.