Fall Jokes

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?

Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there ) Well, it ain't Mary.

Why did the guy fall off his bicycle?

Because I threw a microwave at him

Who's there ! Anne ! Anne who ?

Anne apple just fell on my head !

What do you call a minion that falls on a grill?

Filet mignon

What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell?

the floor

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Where do animals go when their Tails fall off?

The Retail store

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It made him wed his plants!

What did the cholo say when the houses fell on him?

ey, get off me homes!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.

Why shouldn't you buy Ukrainian underpants?

Cos Chernobyl fall out

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."

Why did Steve fall off the swing?

Because he was a potato!

What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor?

The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)

What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?

They know people will blow them.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

Who falls first?

Neither. They can both levitate.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?

The girl necks door.

What's a cow's favourite love song?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

What is the most popular band in Japan?

Fall Out Boy

Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?

They're not falling for that one again..

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?

A laplander !

What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window

What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!

How'd the monkey fall out of the tree. He was dead. How'd the next second monkey fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the first monkey! How'd the Third monkey fall out of the tree. Peer Pressure.

How many hipsters does it take to...?

Bazinga! nobody cares! you fell for one of my practical jokes again.

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky?

When it's raining Datsun cogs.

Why did the kid fall out of the tree?

I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure

What do you call an arrogant criminal falling down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What should you buy if your hair falls out ?

A good vacuum cleaner !

What do you call a kid who falls into a gorilla enclosure?

Zoolander

What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job?

The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'

Why did the polynomial tree fall over?

It didn't have any real roots

What happened when the teacher fell in the copier?

A: She was beside herself.

Why did the fallen child cross the road?

Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.

What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?

A hole-y Cow!

Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles?

The Betty Ford Clinic

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band?

Fall out boy

When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ?

the four hands (you dirty minds)

What do you say when the inventor of the telephone falls over?

Alexander Graham Fell!

Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fall off.

Why should you never wear Ukrainian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fall out

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

What did the Native American say when his dog fell of the cliff?

Dog gone!

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

A: Fell through the cracks.

Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars?

A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there Me: Not Lucy.

Why did the Fall break off from all the other seasons?

Because it wanted autumnomy

What is cowhide mostly used for?

Keeping cows from falling apart.

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Which family in Game Of Thrones fell down the stairs?

The Bannisters

What can't a man with no arms break?

His fall.

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

What is black, white, black, white...?

A nun falling down the stairs

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ?

A: Because it was dead.

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

What did the Mexican man say after two houses fell on him?

Get off me, homes"

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

Why did Timmy fall off the swing?

Me: why Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there Him: Not Timmy.

Why did the ox fall down the hill?

A: It was an oxident.

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

Why did Sally fall of the swingset?

She had no arms. BONUS JOKE: Knock Knock. Who's there Not Sally.

What did the Mexican guy say when the two houses fell on him?

Get off me homes.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

What did the bell say when it fell in the water?

I'm wringing wet.

Which one will fall off first?

The one with the smaller mu.

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

What's blue, white and red?

A cancerous child who fall down the stairs.

What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

What do you call it when a Greek handicap falls over?

Olympus has fallen.

What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

Why did the half blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well!

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

You might also enjoy:

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Which trees have the most friends?

The poplar ones.

What's the biggest type of tree?

A Country.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

What does R. Kelly say to his kids when they do something bad?

Urine trouble

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

Second Monkey Jokes More Second Monkey Jokes

How'd the monkey fall out of the tree. He was dead. How'd the next second monkey fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the first monkey! How'd the Third monkey fall out of the tree. Peer Pressure.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was drunk Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did you hit me with your chair?

Me: Because my desk is too heavy.

Why did the WTC get hit by Terrorist?

They didn't get hit by Terrorists.

10th Jokes More 10th Jokes

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor?

It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go.

1st Jokes More 1st Jokes

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

Why did the skull win 1st place in the race?

Because he ran ahead.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob