Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a girl's track team and a pygmy tribe?

One is a bunch of cunning runts.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a whale and a toaster?

You didn't pop out of a toaster.

What is the difference between a diameter and a radius?

A radius

What's the difference between a tavern and an elephant fart?

One is a bar room, and the other is a *BARROOM!*

Whats the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Dubai don't broadcast the Flintstones but AbuDhabidooooooooo

What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?

A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

What's the difference between British crisps and foreign crisps?

One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.

What's the difference between Windows 8.1 and Windows 10?

The start menu.

What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR &amp?

a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

What's the difference between the inverse of sec(o) and the smallest region in the former Ottoman Empire?

One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians?

Asians don't have the "cauc".

What's the difference between... deer nuts and beer nuts?

Beer nuts are over a dollar deer nuts are under a buck. (old but good)

What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?

The electrician knows where the ground is.

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team?

The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts.

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What's the difference between a gun and a radical feminist?

A gun only has one trigger.

What's the difference between Snow White and the Brazil soccer team?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in.

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?

With Santa it is only three hoes and he's done.

What's the difference between a banana and a helicopter?

You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter

What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.

What's the difference between healthcare.gov and Derrick Rose?

Healthcare.gov was broken and now it works.

What's the difference between like, love and lust?

Spit Swallow Gargle

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

What the difference between What's the difference between a chick pea and lentil?

I've never paid to have a lentil on me!

What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?

One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is a walrus.

What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?

A: A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

What's the difference between an egg and a redditor?

An egg gets laid

What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts?

Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.

What's the difference between a black person and a monkey?

Nothing

What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

What is the difference b/w secretary &amp private secretary?

Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR &amp Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?

Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

You can't ride your bike on a sociopath

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

What's the difference between Hillary and a piece of fruit?

deleted

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

A: No fee--If No Recovery!

What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law?

One's wanted.

What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh?

I've never smeared tigger on my face

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.

What's the difference between a black person and a bicycle tire?

The bicycle tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

What's the difference between a cup and a mug?

being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

What's the difference between white students and black students?

Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school.

What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: 6 inches is medium 8 inches is rare.

What's The Difference Between Larry Hogan And An Iraqi Child?

Larry Hogan gets back from the hospital.

What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs?

We don't need an asteroid...

What's the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg?

An egg gets laid before it cracks.

This joke may have profanity.

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

What's the difference between the Polish and polish?

No one bats an eye if you use chemicals to remove polish, but if you use chemicals to remove the Polish, most of the world will turn against you

What's the difference between ELI5 and AskScience?

About 3 replies in the top comment thread.

What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of pygmys?

One is a cunning bunch of runts...

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ?

His portrait only need one nail

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton?

A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.

What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?

A: About 10 pounds.

What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?

Oh shoot, I forgot...

What's the difference between Santa and a black man?

Santa stops after the third Ho

What's the difference between a herpes and jacuzzi?

i let women know that i have a jacuzzi

What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?

Nothing.

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone?

Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone.

What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

What's the difference between politics and professional wrestling?

In professional wrestling they know what they are doing.

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Walnut on my chest..

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

What's the difference between mad cow disease and PMS?

Nothing.

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

What's the difference between George Washington and Nicki Minaj?

Nicki Minaj never owned slaves.(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Gr1p4KtgOXc)

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla?

There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo.

What's the difference between batman and a black person?

Batman can go to the store without robin'

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

x-post from r/bicycling Attire

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

What's the difference between golf and Lady Godiva?

One is a hunt on a course.

What's the difference between a scaffold and a magnet?

A magnet only has two Poles.

What's the difference between PirateBay and 9/11?

One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy

What's the difference between a Porsche and a Skoda?

Paul Walker wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda.

What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer?

None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash.

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

About 5000 miles.

You might also enjoy:

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who keeps falling over?

Tripical

How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?

3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb

Stoat Jokes More Stoat Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

Black Woman Jokes More Black Woman Jokes

Why does Beyonce sing, "To the left, to the left!"?

Because black women have no rights.

What's the difference between a woman and a man?

A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.

Price Jokes More Price Jokes

What do you get when you take an HIV medication and raise the price 5,000%?

Rich AND famous, apparently

What did they say to the CEO who raise minimum wage to $70,000?

Price is right!

Acknowledge Jokes More Acknowledge Jokes

What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged?

Notice me sin() !!!

Booze Jokes More Booze Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze?

You invite two of them.

How do Ghosts get Drunk?

Booze.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How far can a rabbit run into the woods?

Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What "c word" describes my girlfriend and why I'm not getting any?

Carpaltunnel

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless