Difference Jokes

What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

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What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?

A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."

What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp?

Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

What's the difference between a white nationalist and a racist?

Two syllables.

What's the difference between KFC and /R/Jokes?

What you get served at KFC is original.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bunch of dead babies?

I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A. You can't tuna fish.

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a 19th century slave and a 21st century unpaid intern?

No, seriously, I want to know.

Whats the difference between a black guy in jail and a caged birth?

The bird doesn't feel he's home.

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What's the difference between a gang of pygmy's and a women's track team?

One is a Cunning group of Runts.....

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

What's the difference between Kim and Robert K?

Robert never got a famous black guy off all by himself ...

What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have 100 dead babies in my garage

What is the difference between a default subreddit mod and a radical feminist?

Nothing.

What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?

You can't milk a cow for 2000 years

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Whats the difference between a white owl and black owl?

A white owl goes : Who Who A black owl goes : Who dat who dat

What's the difference between Putin and Poutine?

Umm... I don't know ... I've got nothing.

What's the difference between a Lima Bean and a Chick Pea?

I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.

What is the difference between an epilectic oyster and a whore with diarrhea?

One you shuck between fits.

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What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What's the difference between astronomy & astrology?

Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a power tool?

Power tools are found inside the Home Depot.

What the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

The pencil has a point

What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?

Attire

What's the difference between a Dominican and a Cuban?

Dominicans are close, but no cigar

Whats the difference between a feminist and a jihad?

one actually fights for change

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

What's the difference between a bIack guy and a bike?

A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it.

What's the difference between a camel and a Russian?

A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking.

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.

What's the difference between a sperm and a racist?

A sperm as a 1 in a million chance of actually becoming a human being.

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

What's the difference between Reddit and the 1984 Universe?

You can leave Reddit.

What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?

Some days the wind doesn't blow.

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What is the difference between a feminist and a cat?

One of them is annoying, dangerous, hairy, lazy, disgusting and filthy and the other one is just a feminist

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What's the difference between a caver and a spelunker?

A caver rescues a spelunker.

What's the difference between yogurt and white people?

If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture.

What's the difference between an Armenian and a Gorilla?

Just one hair.

What is the difference between a women driving strawberries?

None, both are collect in a field.

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

Not everyone's been in a 747.

What is the difference between Digg and Reddit?

People can Voat.

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a black man?

A dead baby can feed a family of four

What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?

A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you get off of my cloud!" while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?

The canoe tips.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

What's the difference between a shopping cart and a radical feminist?

A shopping cart will, on occasion, exhibit a mind of it's own

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What's the difference between starlings and swallows?

Your mum doesn't starlings.

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?

A: Half a measure.

What's the difference between a Thai man and a Thai woman?

Pls help.

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

What's the difference between a cheeesburger and Reddit gold?

A cheeseburger can't feed your ego.

What's the difference between young girls and photographs?

After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

What's the difference between foreplay and KFC?

Once you're finished with the breasts and thighs, you're left with a greasy box to put your bone in.

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby?

300 degrees in the oven.

What's the difference between reddit gold and the Greek drachma?

People usually thank you for giving them reddit gold.

What is the difference between ice and dry ice ?

Dry ice lacks of water.

What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum?

There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum.

What's the difference between my wife and the dress?

The dress is white and gold

What is the difference between the abominable snowman and the abominable snowwoman ?

Two abominable snowballs

What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital?

The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a handsomely dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire

What is the difference between a JCB and a giraffe?

One has hydraulics the other has high bolics.

What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant?

They both have wings, except for the elephant.

What's the difference between a yellow cab and a green cab in NYC?

The green cabs haven't ripened yet.

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

What's the difference between Leibniz and the Civil Rights Movement?

Leibniz was able to integrate in 1675.

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

What's the difference between tequila, and all of my relationships?

Tequila never goes bad

What's the difference between wife and a blue whale?

About 10 pounds.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

You can't mash Frankenstein.

What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What's the difference between aged cheddar and regular cheddar?

The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

What is the difference between a Gynecologist and a Urologist ?

The smell of their fingers.

What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome?

If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off.

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