About 204 days.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Houston, TX will once again reach 98 degrees.
My car can hit 50.
My car can make it to 50.
One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard.
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
A Presbyterian is a Baptist who can read
I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.
The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.
One bawls his wares out on the street...
A. With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.
A handgun only has one trigger.
A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW
There's none, both like clubbing.
Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.
One was planned.
You stop milking the cow after ten years.
One's really fun to smash with a sledge-hammer and the other is just a watermelon
Batman can go to the store with out robin.
Attire...!!
Larkspur has a ferry terminal, San Francisco has terminal fairies.
How red their necks are.
Lebron James doesnt give you 4 quarters.
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy.
30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke.
Pygmies are cunning runts.
One's a plucked pheasant, and I don't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
In America, we call our inbred hillbillies. In Europe, they call them royals.
A consonant.
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue I knew you'd get stuck.
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Diet coke has better advertising.
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
A: A moose has antlers, but an ant doesn't have mooselers.
Tiger Woods has a better driver
The taste.
England gets off scott-free.
None
They both are insulting, but the skeleton doesn't have any body to share racist jokes with!
The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system
A petri dish develops a culture.
The foundation's been laid.
One is a bunch of cunning runts.
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !
Marshmallows
The Asian try to get the A, but the white girl try to get the D
A sigh is oh dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you dear.
One is a brick and the other is a brick with a screen
The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!
eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging.
A-tyre
A wet nose.
One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.
When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.
A: The car salesman can probably drive!
I don't know, I just fly the drone
One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.
One mucks around in fountains.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.
About 3 IQ points
Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "
Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!
The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon
Anyone can tuna piano, but nobody can piano a tuna!
For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".
Batman isn't wearing hockey pads.
I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone.
I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo.
Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.
I don't know man, I just fly the drones.
Ask them to say the word, "unionized".
You have a shot with a pool table.
A pineapples pricks are on the outside.
The babies in my nutsack are still living.
One of them has papers.
Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a KIA.
Sometimes I get the punchline :(
You can't hear a pheromone.
An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...
The Holocaust was funny.
The gerbils are a bunch of cunning runts.
About 3000 miles !
A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS
I told him "It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..." "..and Derek has a moustache"
One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.
I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.
You can spill your beer on a fiddle.
Some people actually believe santa exist.
At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS" At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"
The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!
One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.
A: The blonde works in the dark!
78.5
A dead baby in 6 trash cans.
The Captains log
Jean-Luc Picardio
because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.
Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...
He was second to Nun.
A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store.
Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor
Your partner has to chew before swallowing...
Nine months.
The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons. (aaannnd i'll see myself out)
J-lo Cloths
Because they don't do Windows
Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.
No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.