A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
One leg's both the same.
The communist wants equality
payday vs prayday.
I need to know before my court date on Monday.
One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'
Try picking them up !
There are skidmarks before the dog.
H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.
Bing sings and Walt Disney.
One of them doesn't.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!
sixty-nine
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver
The government actually wanted to stop Polio.
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
An attic door can shut up. im going to hell
A picnic table can support a family of 4.
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
About 60 pounds.
A tire
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
I don't know what " "We're sure not sending you to the store!"
You can only peel (peal) the banana once.
About 5 seconds.
both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!
With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once
One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.
A tiger has the mane part missing !
The egg gets laid!
I cry when I cut open an onion
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
Aids develops itself
Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.
I can't gargle sand.
The way they enter your house.
If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.
You can't keep milking the dead cow for 13 years
One has culture.
One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.
M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt.
A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store.
20 minutes, thermostat 8.
A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.
About two weeks.
The D
I can get through his opening monologue without laughing
Bigfoot is occasionally sighted
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
E.T. phoned home.
Attire.
Keep the change it doesn't really make a difference.
A cow can't be milked for over 30 years
A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.
Popularity.
A virus does something.
You can't unload sand with pitchforks.
The bucket
A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in.
The sun exists.
They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches.
Your mother didn't give you love.
At least the Iowa trash gets taking out once a week.
One is a cold heartless machine, used by everyone... ...And the other is useful with a Cafe. Gnite folks!
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.
A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.
A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.
An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.
Just three inches.
Two Towers.
The url.
The teabag stays longer in the cup.
My couch pulls out.
One less drunk.
Ive only ever been caught stealing cookies.
Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/
A farmer shucks between fits.
One holds photos The other holds five
A rental car can go anywhere
Eggs get laid at least once.
February 14th.
One hits the spot...
One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...
You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
Two days.
about 100lbs and a flannel shirt
One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.
On a hedgehog the pricks are on the outside.
Cows are real.
Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.
You were adopted. Best told to siblings :D
What base you're counting in.
Hello, world" and "Goodbye, cruel world"
Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
The train got windows
She was maid in France !
Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now
Boo bae! (Read aloud please)
Back up a couple of inches.
One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different
They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
Because they are missing two towers.
BLE-YATCH!
Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.
ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*
A top-of-the-lime model.
They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.
Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown
If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop
My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones.
