Chicken Jokes

What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe?

Steal a chicken

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How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb.

How many muscles does a chicken have in its neck?

Just enough to hold it's pecker up...

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the chicken hold a seance?

To get to the other side.

Why do you want to be a psychiatrist?

pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people

Why did the chicken cross the park?

To get to the other slide...

Why are chickens racist?

They are all in the Coop Clucks Clan

Why did the tofu cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken. &gt:

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls

Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?

He was studying foreign languages.

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Why the chicken cross the road?

To say Hello from the other side

Why doesn't a chicken wear underwear?

Because his pecker is on his face!

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the snail cross the road ?

It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s

What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?

Coop-cakes !

Why did the rabbit cross the road?

Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!

What did the duck say to the chicken who was about to cross the road?

quack

Why did the lost tourist cross the road?

The chicken looked like he knew where he was going.

What goes 'peck bang peck bang peck bang' ?

A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons !

Why did Pee-wee Herman cross the road?

He was choking the chicken.

What did the chicken say before it crossed the road?

I'll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ?

She kicked the bucket !

Why is an elephant braver than a hen ?

Because the elephant isn't chicken !

Why did the chicken run out of the brothel?

Whore moans.

This joke may have profanity.

How do you outsmart a chicken?

By thinking outside the bawks.

Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?

Because Croc-a-doodle-doo is a good family name.

Which dance will a chicken not do ?

The foxtrot !

What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?

How far do you think i can kick this bucket Also, Why did the chicken cross the road He was in the bucket(/spoiler)

Why did the chicken cross the beach?

To get to the other tide

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?

You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"

Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?

She wanted to lay it on the line.

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

Why don't chicken wear underwear?

Because their pecker is on their face.

This joke may have profanity.

Why the chicken cross the road .... to get the Chinese newspaper. Do you get it?

Neither do I, I get the new york times

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

Why do chickens sit on their eggs?

Because they don't have chairs.

Why did the chicken?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken

Why did the stoner cross the road?

A: Who else would follow a chicken

Why don't chickens have lips?

Because then they'd have soft peckers

Why did the chicken cross the ocean?

To get out-of-range of North Korea's nukes.

Why did the chicken attend the seance?

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the street?

DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because he brought his own drumsticks

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who gives a cluck (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible )

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ?

Fowl play !

What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the stage?

To get to the other aside!

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.

Why did vegan cross the road?

Because chicken came to his side.

Why did the chicken cross the road half way ?

He wanted to lay it on the line !

Why did the black guy cross the road?

He heard there was chicken on the other side!

How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: .....

Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice?

It didn't like being double crossed.

What shoes to chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?

A bird that lays down !

What do you call a chicken that can play tennis?

A Henman.

What's the difference between a chicken and a hen?

The spelling.

What do you call a chicken going to the moon?

Apollo 11

Why do Jamaican chickens make fun of all the other chickens?

Because they're jerks.

Who's no chicken?

Donald duck.

What do you get when you cross a tiger and a chicken?

Just the tiger

Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?

Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."

When do chickens stop laying eggs?

Henopause

Whats the difference between a chicken and an alligator?

I don't know.

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"

Which day do chickens fear most?

Fryday.

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ?

Enough drumsticks to feed an army !

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back over?

A dirty double crosser.

What did the chicken say to the duck who was about to cross the road?

Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!"

What did the chicken say before laying an egg?

Yahoo. There goes my baby.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ?

A brick-layer !

Why did the chicken run across the road?

She was worried the egg would get there first.

Why did the chicken cross the pathway?

By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?

A hen that lays pooched eggs.

Why do blacks raise chickens?

To teach their kids how to walk.

What do you call a chicken at the north pole?

Lost.

Why did the chicken go to KFC?

A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Why did the chicken cross the rode?

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken limp across the road?

Because it was a lame joke.

What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ?

An eggroll !

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

Why was the chicken happy?

A: Everything was eggcellent.

What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?

They're right! We do taste like chicken!

What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs?

Two chickens and a goat.

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

Why did the chicken end up in the soup ?

Because it ran out of cluck !

What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

Because it was a double-crosser

What happened when the chicken ate cement ?

She laid a sidewalk !

Why did the chicken have a seance?

To get to the other side

Why did the chicken get sent off?

For persistent fowl play!

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