Girl Jokes

What food can tell you if a girl is pregnant?

Chickpea

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you make one girl disappear?

just add a G and now she's gone.

How old is this girl?

Elementary, my dear Watson."

What's the Difference between a Girl and a Woman?

Prison

How many girls a boy need to shoot a school?

None.

What do you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off!

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

What does a Muslim man call a girl he is living in sin with?

Haram bea

What's the difference between a boy and a girl?

His dad answers, "Well, there's a vas deferens!"

What's the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why do some girls walk in threes?

They can't even.

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ?

Voodoo like to dance with me '

What do you call a girl hanging from a basketball rim?

Annette

What do You Use ?

Girl : Adobe Photoshop CS5!

Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter?

They get chapped lips

What do you call a girl who is bad at drawing?

Tracey

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

What actor touches every girl on set?

David Cop-a-feel

How do you kiss a girl on valentines day?

You use tulips.

How many girls does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, you tell me.

Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house?

She didn't have the balls.

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy?

A 500 bill.

Who.. Plays The Guitar.. Boy: How Do i play the guitar ?

Girls: You Should be on TV for your talent. Boy: Am i so good ..... Boy : if you were on TV, i can atleast switch it off...

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?

Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child

What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

When a girl has a ponytail... -Hey, what do you call that hairstyle?

A ponytail -Ah, it really compliments your horse face.

Why do girls like nice guys?

Cause nice guys always finish last.

What kind of birds do girls like?

My-cawk!

What do you give a girl who already has everything?

Antibiotics

Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways?

He was a foyer.

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why don't white girls like trigonometry?

Because secant even.

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

What's your favorite movie?

DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo

Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?

The girl necks door.

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

What would she do for $20?

Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something A dirty joke I'm trying to find it but I can't....

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.

Why do girls NOT like Jesus?

NSFW Because every time he gets nailed it takes him 3 days to get it back up again.

This joke may have profanity.

How far have you gone with a girl?

I went to Canada with my mum once"

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

Why don't you play with your friends?

he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

Why was the girl at starbucks counting her coins in 3's?

Because white girls cant even

What happened to the girl who put too many deviating data into her box plot?

In the end her spread was so large she had to present it without any whiskers.

Why did the brownie get kicked off the baseball team?

Because she was a girl.

What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face?

A Gladiator

What do you call a group of girls all named Paige?

A chapter.

How do you get girls?

Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.

What do jesus and girls have in common?

The expression on their faces when they got nailed.

What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar?

The girls get older, but he stays the same age" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

Why couldn't Bill Gates get any girls?

His hardware was Microsoft

Why don't girls where skirts in the winter?

So they don't get chapped lips.

Why did the girl sit on her watch?

She wanted to be on time.

Why would I be mad?

girls who are mad

What do you call it when a girl named "Sandy" Punches someone?

Sandy hook.

Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant?

Because they always miss their target!

When you see a girl who was hot in high school, but a decade later she's not https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=6-RfZDiayDI

What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon?

Put a sock in it.

What does a girl want more than anything?

Nothing. She is fine.

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

What girl's name is like a letter?

Kay (K).

What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower?

Brainwashed.

What do you call a girl who hunts owls?

A hooters shooter girl

What do guys like but are afraid of?

Girls

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend?

Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team?

The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts.

What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?

Mash-scara!

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?

The cat ate her.

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

What is Nitrate?

Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

How do you find a girl with no legs?

Follow the slime trail.

How can a girl make you a millionnaire?

If you're already a billionnaire.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a bowling alley?

Elaine

Why didn't the girl cross the street?

She didn't have the balls

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Annette.

Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam.

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