He developed a ten Chin deficit disorder.
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Coffee Mug
It makes me laugh a little bit, in the rain.
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
UCLA.
It slipped a disk.
They can't MOOve
They lived harpily ever after!
They get throne away.
Who is she What does that mean When did that happen Why How I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema
Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.
A Flat Minor
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Chin-chin would leave.
FB=Whats on your mind FourSquare= Where am I Quora=what Youtube=What Im watching. LinkedIn=Whats in it for me
Canadians became *penniless*
It makes the Dego buy faster.
O.K. you asked for it" the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.
If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.
I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"
The planes kept Stalin.
You get a frostbite.
A: It oink-urs a fine.
He brexit.
You get rich milk.
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!
A: It stole the show!
You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)
They'd form pigget lines.
Husband: You spent it all dear.
After a week he was spotless !
It gets Dhaka
He didn't give a hoot !
Because it happened in the *past*a.
It got all sappy
the doctor asks. "I stepped on something."
I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !
The crews got marooned
He got taller.
You dye a little on the inside.
The American responds, "Ei ffel".
Pyrex
It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.
Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.
Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.
They get toad!
Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)
It grows a Moostache.
Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*
Because their wives are driving.
The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.
They gave him his money back.
It gets Camel-Towed.
Fred: Someone got a nasty shock.
The 45th President of the United States of America.
It made him shy!
Me: I turned 13....
He got off on a technicality
You go to jail for impersonating a police officer...
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Diamond
Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.
The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."
He had him newt-ered.
He had to swallow his pride!
They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.
He ate himself!
He was impeached!
They interrobang!(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang)
Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.
It set !
It gets wet.
Oxidants happen,
Because then World War 3 would never happen
It bucked!
He just beetled off !
They got stoned
He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.
Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.
He stank to the bottom of the pool!
A moot ant
He got atomic ache.
They sure made a wrong turn, somewhere!
It gets put under cardiac arrest.
Irritable Brawls in Rome
You will get burned, you idiot.
He left lip prints on the mirror!
A mirage!
it floats.
He gets thor arms!
Most weddings happen in June.
I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either
The Twin Towers.
Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)
Because Joseph was Stalin.
They both went a little batty.
Yule be happy !
10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion
He got crossed.
She had a ball
US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.
Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.
ram a man
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
He was **narco**leptic.
Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."
I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8
No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*
They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries
On charges of battery.
Because it was a gun-free zone
cuz it was charged with electricity .
The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.
Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.
Because he lives at the navel observatory
He's Biden his time.