Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
He told her he *can't elope*.
I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."
alt) Make a joke about them, and then they'll get real offended.
Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it
She'll tell you within five minutes.
Tell them to take off their hats
They are always packing their trunk !
He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon
as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.
Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)
Couple's Daily Question Mug
He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.
wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!
Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine
My <BODY> is ready. What did the browser answer Please give me <HEAD> first.
You get a tizzy signal!
Because it is not called a teethbrush.
I dino-bore! . I'm sorry.
You don't, they will tell you.
You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.
One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."
Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!
Pupil: Dead I didn't even know he was sick!
Bite me.
No worries they will tell you
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
By taste.
Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers ...
I don't know it's lard to tell.
Chop chop.
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.
With a romantic tock.
So they can tell if they are going to work or going home while on the bus.
She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."
I don't know but that reminds me of a similar joke my uncle used to tell...
With a Geiger Counter.
Because you already know who it's isss! My little sister told me this joke.
Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks . . .
Tell them they can't make racist jokes.
WRONG.** ... or right, or something in between.
They tell you.
Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me.
It's all tongue and groove.
Because he had been told to ice it.
It's a little meteor.
The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"
One they've never herbivore.
It has low shoulders.
then just sit there for 5 years.
I dunno, I just repost them.
I don't remember.
By the way it Goebbels
A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!
Man: It pleases me to listen that she died.
It's not like they'll ever really check "Let's do it"
Skin color.
Never tell anyone what are you so mad about
Eschew! Eschew!
I will tell you how in my next post- Jk the answer's in one of the comments, look through every single one and you are destined to discover the answer.
Because they cant tell jose from hose B
That he has a sense of tumor (Courtesy of twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)
I told you it would rain, dear.
By how many slaves he has.
Teach me senpai!
He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!
They gave her a basketball and told her to read.
She's the one with dirty knees.
A corn snake
It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!
Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.
When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked.
Two. One to post the joke and one to post a better punchline in the comments.
You get a buzzy signal.
They're the one with the dirtiest knees
Dont look at me I'm changing
Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.
He isn't very App-y
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes.
The Sunni's are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.
They wanted to see it crack up!
Chickpea
Pull down its genes.
Drones can't tell either
She draws a smack!
When she tells you, say no
Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
The one with the dirty knees.
Don't get your sheets dirty!"
A running joke.
They take things literally.
A: There is writing on the White-out.
Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)
He gets pale as a sheet.
They'll tell you.
Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'
A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)
I dont have a porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)
She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"
She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"
they say.
They both can be used to carry vegetables....
x-post from /r/MeanJokes Getting the smell of white people out of your house.
Dustin.
Aghagghhghgagaggag (Those are supposed to be gagging noises)
it's a rhetorical question I know this now
If it was any longer it wouldn't be a foot
Astor the ball is over !
Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.
The Mercedes can easily reach 40.
I don't have 100 dead babies in my garage
They don't want to!
To avoid criticism and comparison.
