Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
sixty-nine
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver
The government actually wanted to stop Polio.
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
An attic door can shut up. im going to hell
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
About 60 pounds.
Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
A tire
When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Kicking the old drunkard out won't start world war III.
Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.
I don't know what " "We're sure not sending you to the store!"
You can only peel (peal) the banana once.
I would feel awkward dancing to reggae music.
Read the label.
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
About 5 seconds.
both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!
With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once
People actually care if a gorilla dies.
A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound
One is good at rolling blunts, the other is good at bowling runts.
One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.
A tiger has the mane part missing !
A white man makes it to prison.
The egg gets laid!
Cancer cells can get Jobs.
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball
I cry when I cut open an onion
Answer: One has hope in her soul the other has soap in her hole.
One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser.
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
Aids develops itself
There's Noel.
A bird can fly.
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
Pants.
Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue ) I knew you'd get stuck on that
What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.
In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.
I can't gargle sand.
Most people miss the twin towers.
Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !
About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes
One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.
The way they enter your house.
A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.
The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.
Heidi cannot swing a golf club.
If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.
Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command.
Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).
The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.
You can't keep milking the dead cow for 13 years
One has culture.
Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.
One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.
One is a Bonaparte from the other.
Everything. They have absolutely nothing in common.
They're both brown except the snowball.
A gun only has one trigger.
5 years.
M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt.
A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store.
20 minutes, thermostat 8.
How can you take something out you've never put in
A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.
About two weeks.
The D
I can get through his opening monologue without laughing
Bigfoot is occasionally sighted
A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.
E.T. phoned home.
I give them a wall, and they take offense.
Attire.
What would I know, I am just a drone pilot.
Regular AIDS is incurable. North Korean AIDS is invincible!
Keep the change it doesn't really make a difference.
A cow can't be milked for over 30 years
A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.
A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.
People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.
Popularity.
A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
One of them has to water their vegetables
The circus is a cunning array of stunts...
They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars.
One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin
You invite two of them.
Catholics acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle. Extra: What's the difference between Catholics and Lutherans? Catholics just acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle, Lutherans have a 15 minute conversation about booze.
One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different
One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different
His shirts get all winkly.
Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....
They only work 10% of the time.
Price is right!
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Because they don't know the words.
They both give kids a little head.
None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.
They just pray the gray away
Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer.
