Wear Jokes

Why don't witches wear underpants?

To get a better grip on the broom

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why don't chicken wear underwear?

Because their pecker is on their face.

This joke may have profanity.

Why do hitman always wear gloves?

because theyre always wacking guys off....

What's big and grey and wears a mask ?

The elephantom of the opera !

What are you going to get?

ME: wearing a wedding dress Compliments

Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ?

Because he's a man of the nice watch

What does Zeus wear under his tunic?

Thunderwear!

What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt?

Lacoste intolerant.

Why did the chicken?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.

What's with those clogs you keep wearing?

I replied, "Wooden shoe like to know."

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

What does a math mermaid wear?

An algeabra....

What would I be wearing?

Me: Oh, you'd be there, too

Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?

A: So they know where to stop shaving.

What do you call an Italian guy wearing a flourescent track suit?

A DayGlo Dago

What kind of undergarments do mermaids wear?

An algebra

How do you know that Santa is a man?

No woman wears the same attire every year.

How are tigers like sergeants in the army ?

They both wear stripes !

What shoes are hard to wear?

Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share.

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

What does an attorney wear to work?

A: A law suit.

What do you call a whale that isn't wearing any underwear?

Free Willy

What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments?

Labs!

What do you call a German guy wearing basketball shoes?

Herr Jordan

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

Why do mermaids wear seashells for a bra?

Because "B" shells would be too small!

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

What do Islamic McDonalds employees wear?

A cheeseburka

Why'd the seaman cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong sock that day.

Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter time?

Cuz they'll get chapped lips. Brr.

What do you call a dog wearing a watch?

You would call it a dog. A dog wearing a watch is not a watchdog.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

Why was the blonde wearing condoms on her ears?

Because she didn't want to get hearing-AIDS.

How can you tell when a Serbian girl isn't wearing any underwear?

By the dandruff on her shoes.

What do people with two left feet wear?

Flip flips

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?

A petticoat !

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

What kind of overalls does Super Mario wear?

denim denim denim...

Why do hippies wear corduroy?

It's groovy!

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?

Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !

What the fu.." Me, wearing paper clip necklace - "See?

I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"

Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

The man responds "If I'm going to be im-po-tant, I want to look im-po-tant!"

What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight?

Muay Thai

What do older women wear?

Depends

What shoes to chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok

Why won't a witch wear a flat cap?

Because there's no point in it.

Why do black men wear baggy trousers?

Because their knee grows.

Why aren't you wearing a coat?

Coats are for pussies."My mother asks too many questions.

This joke may have profanity.

What does a Super Star Destroyer wear to a formal occasion?

A bow T.I.E.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

Why are you wearing such a large shirt?

Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.

Why does Drake hate summer?

Because you start wearing less and going out more

Why does Ariel the Mermaid wear seashells?

She grew out of her B - shells!

What do nerdy mermaids wear?

Algae-bras

How do you know a woman is wearing tights?

Her knees swell up when she farts.

Why did the nun always wear a slip?

Sheer habit.

What does a Pirate prefer to wear?

Doublet or nothing.

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

Why don't witches wear a flat cap?

There's no point to it

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

What do flies wear on their feet?

A: Shoos.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

Why do women need to wear jockstraps while skydiving?

To prevent them from whistling.

Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?

Do they think they're gonna magically start walking

Why dont witches wear underwear?

So they can get a good grip on the broomstick

What did Joan Rivers say to the zombie?

Who are you wearing *

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?

He was going as a banana.

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

What is Madonna's least favourite band?

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Why do women parachutists wear jock straps?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?

sigh "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." bathrobe sags dejectedly

What is yellow and wears a mask?

A: The Lone Lemon.

Why did the clown wear loud socks?

A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?

He wanted to go bear foot.

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?

Puss in boots !

Who, me?

Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.

Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.

What kind of khakis do birds wear?

Khakaws!

Why don't mountains get cold?

They wear snow caps. *cringe* Courtesy of Westjet's horrible phone line.

What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood?

Your noggin

What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

What do clouds wear during a storm?

Thunderwear

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.

Why did the man wear a frog for a condom?

So he was ribbit for her pleasure.

What has long ears four legs and is worn on your head?

An Easter bunnet!

Why do all Pirates wear eye patches?

Chuck Norris.

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

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How do Eskimos make things stick together?

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They know there ain't no way to hide those lion eyes.

Why pink camo?

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What do fruit punch and a punch to the face have in common?

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What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!"

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What are the three words you dread the most while making love?

Honey, I'm home."

Where do American bees store their honey?

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What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride?

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What if horses rode horses?

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What does an American actor say when going to Europe?

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What do you call someone that steals shoes?

A sneaker.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

sneakers( iknow its old but its nice)