Tennish.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
r/explainlikeimfive
Bones upon a time... !
I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.
When there is a prophet involved.
Give her the dong.
This
Tooth hurty (2:30)
Tutankhamun.
ANSWER: That brief span of time between "I do" and "You'd better!"
Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Because given enough time it rises
They don't have time.
tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))
You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time
Because he was too slow.
Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets
They were just Stalin for time.
Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.
A watch dog !
A pair of ducks.
Damn, son. It's about time!
Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn't black for once D
A bananosecond
God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.
So you can make dinner and get head at the same time.
No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.
Tennish
Elizabeth.
Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog
Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
A: Five after one.
Because they live under Iraq.
Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.
You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.
Because it won't even give you the time of day.
A tangent
He screwed, nutted, and bolted.
I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."
Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.
Does this smell like chloroform to you
As many as 27. I'm referring to the number of times good ol' 27 was reposted.
A Psych major. (Pls list your own response - if you're awake and in America at this time, you should have a pretty good one). Thanks.
He was syncing too much time into it.
me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon
Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D
Because time was always running out.
I am always on time." "And your biggest weakness " "I get annoyed when my dealer is late."
He had a wail of a time.
Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"
I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.
An anthropologist
Time
Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!
Al Kaline.
BB-L8
The mourning
Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.
An attornity.
Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)
A waist of time *door closes on way out*
The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.
They only work 10% of the time.
He came and went at the same time.
you don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke
I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.
It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone.
Time to buy a new chair.
Guden Tight
You're getting too wrapped up in your work!
Getting all high and mighty
He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".
When the big hand touched the little hand
A one-hour facial.
Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)
Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !
O Cristor Redundant
Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what
They pay their debts on time.
Time to get a new watchdog.
They're way too into Stalin
Spring time.
Half to none of the time.
Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.
I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.
It was just a matter of time.
Answers below please.
The Age Of Ultron.
Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!
Dog:
No tomatoes.
tenish.
Dude,I already did my time.
In mooments
So he could tell the time at night !
So they won't run out of time
I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.
It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.
Tardis..... I will see myself out..
The RE-tardis
Because he is stronger than you.
Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)
You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich
You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.
OC He looked inside Santa's sack.
She looked very Theroux-ly.
Justin Time.
He Went Back Four Seconds.
Mad-at-gas-cars!
The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)
Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*
A divorce lawyer.
He was buying drinks.
Pane!
