Hair Jokes

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

AI (Artificial Intelligence)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What's a whale's favourite brand of hair gel?

Krill Bream.

When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

What's the best part about showering with an eight year old girl?

Slicking her hair back and making her look like a six year old boy.

Why are foodfights forbidden in japanese schools?

The children always end up with lice in their hair.

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a coconut?

Coconuts have hair

What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller?

A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler

Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?

He has cancer.

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a Blonde and a person with a different colour of hair?

The blonde sure doesn't know.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

When is it okay to punch a midget?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies?

He found a hair in one.

Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?

Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud

How do you get gum out of your hair?

Get cancer

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

What does a bee style his hair with?

A honey comb!

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Why did Willow Smith whip her hair?

Because it has been very knotty. Apologies in advance

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

because he is a Norsissist.

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What do you call a guy with no hair named Gary?

Garibaldi

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

How do you buy hair?

You have toupee

How do you get gum out of hair?

cancer -I'm sorry-

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Why do blondes wear their hair up?

To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair and not the feet?

Because if they drug them by the feet the would have filled with dirt.

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother :D

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)

Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony?

He kept getting in everyone's hair.

Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit feces?

Because it's sham poo.

How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?

Cross your legs

When Do You Hurt a Midget?

When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!

What do bees use to do their hair?

Honeycombs!

What do you call it when a brunette dyes her hair blonde?

Brainwashing.

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

How is Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hair...

What's grosser than gross?

When a midget walks past and says your hair smells nice!

What's the best part about taking a shower with an 11 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

Why did the midget get slapped?

Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

What does John Cena wash his hair with?

Champ who

What wears a black white and tan coat but has no hair?

A bald beagle!

How do you get your hair into shape?

You condition it

What's the best thing about an 8 year old in the shower?

You can slick her hair back and make her look 6.

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.

What do you call soup that you've found a hair in?

Rabbit Soup :D

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done?

At the ugly parlour.

What do you call a pen with no hair ?

A bald point !

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?

Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What do you call the hair of a centaur?

Humane.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?

With scare spray.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls?

A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

What's the best part about showering with a 7 year old girl?

You slick their hair back and you've got a 7 year old boy.

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

Why did (do?

cavemen drag their women by the hair if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud.

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?

Lily !

Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?

A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor?

The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back.

What experience do you have plucking chickens?

Me: See all those hairs on my chin No. Me: Exactly.

What did the witch put in her hair?

A: Scare spray.

When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what?

Pony gone.

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair?

Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What do you call a woman who dyes her hair red?

Transginger.

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

How do pirates get their hair to stand up?

Sea-men. My brother told me that

When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ?

When your bald !

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

Why did cavemen... drag their women by the hair?

So they wouldn't fill up with gravel.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand?

A trillionaire.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What do you call a blonde geek with cancer?

A dumb terminal

Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?

He has cancer.

Whore Jokes More Whore Jokes

How do you call a whores pubic hair?

Public hair Ill show myself out..

How do whores in Westeros get into the castle?

Hodor.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

A: The White House.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What does your Dad sell ?

Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter

How do the Russian people feel about their government?

They're Putin up with it.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did God say when he saw the first black person?

Ooops, I burnt one!

What do call a white guy in a burning building?

Fire cracker

Intelligence Jokes More Intelligence Jokes

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

Divorced.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red Selling her soul for intelligence