None, we just swap out your whole house
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
Alistairs in this house are broken !
When the door is open !
Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.
Full House.
There wasn't mushroom.
W song backwards? Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.
Because they can't afford houses in this economy.
Because his house was underwater.
Because they have to use their Endor voices.
When you pull the ring off, your house goes away
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
A poultrygeist
I would like to help with house #7.
It starts with a little blowing but at the end your house is gone
It has shingles.
instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.
It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.
She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Central Fajiting.
Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on
The way they enter your house.
A: Because he wanted to be walled-in.
A cottage"
She's afraid they'll bring down the house.
business.
Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car
Just a phew!
Tsar-Chasm
The living room
A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !
Through the bat flap.
Unstable
You feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish."
Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.
Samson he brought the house down !
Because they mess up the whole house !
Throw the guy out of the house.
Mortgage Freeman
Get off me, homes!" My brother heard this on Tosh.
A wrecking ball
Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.
No whey...
Phantom panes.
The outside
A Werehouse.
Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
All your printer paper is gone and when you look at the printer history it's all Kim Jong-un.
A: Fur-niture.
A: When the door is open.
Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway.
A tuba-four
I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.
I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.
He flips houses
Igloos it together.
A: A light house.
So he could watch the football
He wanted to have drinks on the house.
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
He flips houses.
Biden
Because they don't like windows in their house. BaDumTss
The SWAT team
Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)
He was having window pains I'm sorry
What if my house burns down
Igloos it back together.
Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk
Because there's no body there!
They got Snowden.
Dustin.
A: Car-pets!
14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
House.
Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
When it's on the house.
They're still in your driveway
Their wives just wouldn't stand for it :)
None. They just move out of the house.
Because it's on the house.
ey, get off me homes!
the guy likes his power chords too much.
Homeless people have neither.
x-post from /r/MeanJokes Getting the smell of white people out of your house.
The house smells better !
because he has gnocchi
And why is she wearing my underpants
Because he had gnocchi.
In a were-house
Build a house next to it.
The neighbours were baaastsrds.
I don't know.. I just don't see it.
He's snowed in.
House blend.
That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!
The laundry room. It's the only place where the blacks have to be separated from the whites.
A raging Boehner.
Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.
So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!
My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."
Mat
Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)
Douse it in gasoline and set it alight.
When you ask them "Are you a vegan?" and they say "Yes".
A woman who doesn't know her place.
Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way.
A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.
The yellow man lives in the yellow house. The purple man lives in the purple house. The red man in the red house. And the blue man in the blue house. So who lives in the White House? The black man. It's better in person, I'm so sorry.
Me: I don't know Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house? Me: The red guy Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house? Me: The blue guy Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house? Me: The yellow guy Her: Who lives in the white house? Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out: The black guy!!
The PGA tour.
Organized crime
Because Japan isn't good at basketball.
Goddamn right.
