Cancer Jokes

What is the difference between cancer and a Brazilian?

Cancer evolves, a Brazilian doesn't.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?

It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21

What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?

Finding out it's curable.

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

Cancer stole our jobs!"

Why did the girl cry on the swing?

She has cancer

What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?

Prostate

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

What did the paraplegic retard get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?

He has cancer.

Why can't the armless girl comb?

Because she already had cancer.

What do you call a terrorist with cancer?

A free radical.

How did the muslim get cancer?

By smoking a lot of fags.

What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas?

cancer

This joke may have profanity.

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, handicapped kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

What's the difference between feminists and cancer?

Cancer reproduces itself.

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

When is the worst time to get Cancer?

North of the equator.

What do a good joke and a child with cancer have in common?

They never get old.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Where did the Irish guy get cancer?

In his prostatoe.

How did realism get me banned from Facebook?

I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.

What's the difference between black people and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

How do you get gum out of your hair?

Get cancer

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do cheese and cancer have in common?

Americans put it everywhere!

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas?

AIDS

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

How do people with leukemia know they have cancer?

They can feel it in their bones.

Why did the scare crow get a raise?

Because he was outstanding in his field. Annnnd you all have cancer now.

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did Timmy get for Christmas?

Cancer

What is the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer came back

What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind paraplegic get for Christmas?

cancer.

How do you describe getting cancer on your resume?

As a real growth opprotunity

What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas?

cancer

What did the blind, innocent, sweet, paraplegic 7 year old boy get for his birthday?

Cancer.

What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, mute girl get for Christmas??

Cancer.

What's the difference between a black person and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the difference between cancer and a black guy?

Cancer can get jobs

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple..?

Cancer.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What is Chuck Norris' only weakness?

Cancer

What did the blind paraplegic child get for Christmas?

Cancer. Happy new years folks!

What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you call a blonde geek with cancer?

A dumb terminal

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do you call a video game that gives cancer?

Tombr Aider

Why did the pop band get cancer?

They were radio active.

Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?

I Just Found Out I Have Cancer...

What did the deaf, blind, crippled kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Which presidential candidate is the most likely to cause cancer?

Ben Carsonogen

What's the diagnosis doctor?

What is your zodiac sign ' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'

What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer?

Leukemia Skywalker.

What do you call an egg that cures cancer?

A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What did the blind, def and mute kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?

Meesathelioma.

What do you call someone who can't take a joke about cancer?

Someone with no sense of tumor.

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

What kind of cancer does an amnesiac oncologist diagnose?

Adenocarcinoma

What is David Bowie's zodiac sign?

Cancer.

What did the 11 year old junior paleontologist and 50-cent music lover with cancer receive from the one wish foundation?

A Rap Tour

What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas?

Cancer

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the difference between cancer and black people?

Cancer got Jobs.

Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer?

Fixed* deleted

What's the prognosis, Doc?

DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.

What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas?

Cancer!

How are cancer and pregnancy similar?

They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer. :(

What does Sally have?

Cancer.

What does 9/11 and cancer have in common?

They were both inside Jobs

What was it again ?

Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !

What did the boy with no arms &amp legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas?

Cancer.

How did the clock get cancer?

Second-hand smoke!

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Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do you get when you combine a black guy and an octopus?

nobody knows actually but it will be perfect for picking cotton.

How many cops does it take to push a black guy down the stairs?

None, he 'fell'.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How can you tell if a hippy came to your house?

He's still there.

How are blizzards and men alike?

You don't know when they're coming, you don't know how many inches you'll get, and you don't know long they'll last

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do you call a booth babe at Apple's events?

ICandy

Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals?

Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away.

Donate Jokes More Donate Jokes

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

Cancer stole our jobs!"

Why are muslim charities the worst to donate to?

Because they are for prophet.

Unemployed Cancer Cell Jokes More Unemployed Cancer Cell Jokes

What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other?

Lets get Jobs!

What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other unemployed cancer cell?

Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a post by

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Which vitamine are feminists missing?

D

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

Breast Cancer Jokes More Breast Cancer Jokes

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.

Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things?

They have bad mammaries.