Leg Jokes

What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas?

Cancer

This joke may have profanity.

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What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

What is brown and has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

What has four legs and yells "Hodi doh, hodi doh?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

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What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

What do you call a terrorist with eight legs?

An Iraqnid.

What do you call a ginger bread man wit one leg?

A. Limp biskit

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.

How many legs does the dog have?

4 y.o: Five Me: There's something wrong with your counting. 4: There's something wrong with the dog.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other?

Irene

What is red, slimy and crawls up your leg?

An abortion with home sickness.

This joke may have profanity.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ?

Chimney Cricket !

What do you call a Sandwich with legs?

Bready Legs

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?

Matt

Why do cows need four legs to walk?

Because they lactose. Moo

What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

What do you say to a man with no legs?

Nothing, he'll shoot you.

What mouse has two legs?

Mickey Mouse. What duck has two legs

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg?

Limp Biscuit

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

half-a-dog!

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What has two legs but can't walk?

A dead duck.

What do you call a fox with one leg?

Terry :D

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having two legs

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool?

Bob

What has four legs and says "hoe de doe, hoe de doe"?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

What walks on eight legs until the age of one, four legs until the age of twenty, and two legs after?

The Weasley twins

What do internet pirates have on their legs?

j.pegs

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other?

Li Ning

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

What has four legs a tail whiskers and flies?

A dead cat.

How many thingamabobs does Ariel have?

20 "Twenty-*one*. She got the last one when she wished for legs."

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

What has four legs and can fly?

Two Birds!

Why was the rabbit hopping in circles?

Because I shot its leg off.

What happened to the american man who broke his leg?

He went... broke.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

How much for this toaster?

An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers " "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars

What has got four legs and an arm?

A: A Rottweiler in a playground.

What has long ears four legs and is worn on your head?

An Easter bunnet!

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs?

Two chickens and a goat.

What's better than winning the wheel chair basketball championship?

Having legs...

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

What do you call a race where all the runners have no legs?

An arms race.

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?

A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

What do you call a person who is missing his left eye, left ear, left arm and left leg?

Alright.

What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs?

Dragon lips. And a Mexican lady with no legs Consuelo.

What has four legs and several fins?

A: A happy bear!

What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!

Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs?

They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?

Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs?

To give the ants a chance.

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

What has two heads and six legs?

Nirvana

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?

Irene

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty?

Four guys watching a baseball game.

Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

A pair of legs.

Why do milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder

What do you call a spider with no legs?

A raisin

What do you call a witch with one leg?

Eileen.

What do you call a lady with one leg that is shorter than the other?

Aileen

Why do moths fly with their legs apart?

Have you ever seen the size of moth balls

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

What did one leg say to the other?

Shorty's growin a beard.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs?

An army.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?

Matt

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer. :(

What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist?

A sumo shaves their legs.

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?

He wanted to have webbed feet.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?

To keep here legs closed.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water?

Bob

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A: A horse and rider.

What has four legs and is made out of wood?

A horse.

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

What do you call a Kiwi with one leg?

Not even bro.

What has two legs and can't stand up?

Half a cat

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3 Leg Jokes More 3 Leg Jokes

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

The cow has the udder.

Why do you call a person with 3 legs?

Mutated

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this ! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of 4.

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

Where do cannibals get their vegetables from?

the coma ward.

What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool?

CANNIBAL!!!

3 Finger Jokes More 3 Finger Jokes

What is the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl?

You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball

How much for this toaster?

An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers " "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

Why did the hipster cross the road?

To get to a place you've probably never heard of.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why was the young snowflake so upset?

Because he just watched his mom get plowed.

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

2 Leg Jokes More 2 Leg Jokes

What do you call rice on 2 legs?

Pi Ok, I'm leaving now.

What has 2 legs but can not walk?

A cripple.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !