Leg Jokes

She got hit by a bus. Why did Sally fall off the swing? She lost her arms when she was hit by a bus. Why did Sally not get back on the swing? She also lost her legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? I don't know, she couldn't open it.

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

What do you call a Chinese guy with one leg?

Thai-Won Shu.

How much does it cost to buy multiple prosthetic limbs?

An arm and a leg.

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Ilene What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene

What has four legs and one arm?

A K-9 unit on MLK Boulevard

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

Why do moths fly with their legs spread?

Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

What has three feet but no legs?

A yardstick.

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?

Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)

Why couldn't the redneck kid play baseball?

Because he fell down a stairs and his dad definitely didn't break his legs.

What's the difference between KFC and China?

At KFC, you can only get breasts, legs, and thighs.

What's got four legs and one arm?

An attack dog in a preschool.

How did the psychiatrist break his leg?

He had a Freudian slip.

What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

What has four legs, two humps, and is given a copy of Metal Gear Solid for their computer?

Revolver Camelot!

Why do women have legs?

Have you seen the mess snails make?

Why did the milking stool only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder

What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So people don't confuse them for feminists.

How does a black man ride a black stallion?

With no legs.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs?

Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob.

How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have?

Limbitless

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

How do you call a dog without legs?

you don't you go and grab him

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?

Skip

What's Red and crawls up your leg?

A Homesick Abortion.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit.

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

What's the difference between a small bird?

One of it's legs is a little smaller.

What has five arms, three legs and a head?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon

What is a double amputee's favorite video game?

League of Leg ends.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mother!

What do you call a cow with only legs on one side?

Lean Beef.

What do you call a door with no legs?

A door.

What do a chick and KFC have in common?

Once you're done enjoying the legs, thighs and breasts your left with a greasy box to stick your bone in.

How did the blonde break her leg from raking the leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs?

Consuelo.

How'd Florida man break his leg raking leaves?

He fell off the palm tree

What has four legs and quacks?

A paradox

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

How much does automail cost?

An arm and a leg.

Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs?

Because his arms were blown off.

How did the woman feel after her legs were amputated?

Defeeted

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire?

Bernie.

Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

How do you call a dog with no legs ?

You don't call it, you pick it up.

Why do girls have legs?

ever seen the trail a slug leaves?

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat

Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from feminists.

What has a bottom on top?

A leg.

What happens to a legend's career when he loses his leg?

It ends.

What's the riddle?

What has a foot but no legs?

Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?

So that you can tell them apart from feminists

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?

Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesnt make it a leg.

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD

What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs?

You take him for a drag.

Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his court case?

He hadn't got a leg to stand on.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

What do you call a cholo with one leg shorter than the other?

A Crip

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6 Jokes More 6 Jokes

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?

A pimp

What's 6" long and women love it?

100$ bill.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

How do you tell which truck is the mail truck?

It has huge balls on it. Credit goes to the 70 year old man who just came into my work and made my day.

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time?

The Age Of Ultron.

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why are Asians not optimistic?

Because they have a limited view of life.

What is life like for a wood worm ?

Boring !

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

How do Asians find our they are pregnant?

They send a rubix cube up to see if it gets solved.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke?

Booooooo, Booooooo

Where all my mustang drivers at?????

Last I heard, they're all headed to Portland

Bedroom Jokes More Bedroom Jokes

Why is pinocchio so good in the bedroom?

He nose what he's doing

What's the best part of being a necrophiliac?

In the bedroom, it doesn't take much effort to make your lover's jaw drop.

Remainder Jokes More Remainder Jokes

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

Leg Jokes

What do you call a person who is outside a door and has no arms nor legs?

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

What's the difference between a duck?

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs?

What do you call a judge with no left hand and left leg?

How do you call a cow with no legs?

What do you call a cow with five legs?

What do you call a cow with three legs?

What's the good word?

What walks on two legs, but can't move forward?

How much did the cannibal pay for his new sports car?

What do feet and fairytales have in common?

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

What do you call a dog with no legs?

How could a leper afford a nice house?

Why do flamingos stand on one leg?

How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?

What has four legs and goes 'Boo'?

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Why don't ghosts have legs?

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs in the middle of the ocean?

Why don't snakes have legs?

What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

What do you call an Asian man with one leg?

Why did Sally drop her ice cream?