DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*
Stupid, filthy habitses!
Ha, you really think rocks can talk
12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache 12: Yes.
He thought they said internet camp
cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel
Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.
he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
He's a keeper"
Couple's Daily Question Mug
ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
Because she thought everybody loved her.
You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...
Dino what you're thinking."
They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".
We better get some support soon or everyone'll think we're nuts
You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now.
Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong
I think I'm gonna crash
A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Knightley.
No, I think I'd like some more-ay.
I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.
She thought she was a dromedary.
Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."
They think Cast is spelled with an e.
Well, you might think that it'd be Arrrrby's, but they are actually quite fond of Long John Silvers.
But then I think "What would I do without them "
Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C
While I stroked his thigh with a knife.
Some people think God is real.
the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... "writing an ese"
Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.
I think it's because usually the punchline is too long
Because she is Trans-parent! (Not hate. Just a pun I thought of.)
he thinks to himself.
Bruce Wayne.
OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!
I think they all white.
Insomnia
Kid: "Sorry," I think
A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.
He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.
You might think it's R, but his first love has always been the C.
Conversation
Because she thought it was Diet Coke
God doesn't think he's a police officer.
Because I think it makes perfect scents.
Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P
Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"
A: She thought her maxi pad had wings
Ah yes wax would go well with this cake and you know what else Child spit.
After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"
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asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.
Do they think they're gonna magically start walking
I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.
He thought it would help him with his hit detection.
In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.
Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!
A nail gun
It can't catch fire underwater... I think.
Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty
Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.
He thought it was his civic doodie!
Between us, I think we can make a lot of money!"
God doesn't think that He's Kanye.
Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !
A little bit tacky.
Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.
Like a glove.
They though it was Riel funny!
I thought he didn't care about the 1%
Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."
OC I think I'll go on a diet!
I bet he has to leave the room.
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
She thought the apple was poisoned.
He thought he was melting.
It's not their fault. May tricks them.
Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice
Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.
Weirdos!!
Decomposing.
I think this is a set up!
So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.
Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it
He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over"
Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
I think I could use a Han here.
A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors )
Because I can't think of a single thing to say!
A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.
Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise Oh, right, *of course* !"
At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!
After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture.
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
They take things literally
Because they always take things littorally
Past tense.
Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.
She was a woman! And it wasn't until 1920 when the 19th Amendment was ratified. At this point she was 40 years old and could vote.
A midwife crisis
Because he's Russian
Tsarbucks.
They shoot first and ask questions later.
Because he was Messi
A: FIRETRUCK.
Fire truck.
