Elephant Jokes

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ?

Dumbo !

How to elephants talk to each other ?

By 'elephone !

What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ?

An elephant with hiccups !

Why do elephants have trunks ?

Because they've no pockets to put things in !

Why do elephants have flat feet?

from jumpin' outta palm trees, duh

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?

Because an elephant never frigates. aaahhhthankyou

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ?

Take all the matches out first !

What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant?

el' if I know."

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino?

Helefino.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

Whose baby was it?

The elephant's!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?

A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?

Pack your trunk and clear out !"

How do you get out of an elephant?

Q: How do you get out of an elephant A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ?

Anything you want as he can't hear you !

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !

What do you call an elephant that flies ?

A jumbo jet !

Why do elephants jump across rivers?

So they won't step on the fish.

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

How do elephants smell?

A: Really bad.

What did the elephant say to the famous detective ?

It's ele-mentary my dear Sherlock !

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

A: Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

Look out for the mice!

What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you?

A: Five after one.

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ?

This is the end of me !

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?

Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

What do you call a cross between a hippo, an elephant and a rhino?

Hell if I know

What do elephants say as a compliment ?

You look elephantastic !

What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?

A: A pachydermatologist.

What is worse than raining cats and dogs ?

Raining elephants !

What's similar between an elephant and a plum?

They're both grey except for the plum.

How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant?

Six... three on the back and three in the trunk!

What animal never forgets national tragedies?

the nine-elephant

How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree?

Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die Picking cherries.

Who do elephants get their christmas presents from ?

Elephanta Claus !

Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

uh.. I don't remember..

How can you tell elephants love to travel ?

They are always packing their trunk !

Why do elephants do well in school ?

Because they have a lot of grey matter !

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ?

Big holes all over Australia !

How do you put elephant in the fridge?

Answer is open the door and just put the elephant in the fridge.

What's the difference between an elephant and a banana ?

Have you ever tried to peel an elephant

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ?

Because of all the cheetahs !

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?

Very big worm holes in your garden !

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

What do you give an elephant with big feet ?

Plenty of room !

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?

When your nose touches the ceiling !

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

Why do the elephants have short tails ?

Because they can't remember long stories !

What kind of elephants live in Antartica ?

Cold ones !

What has 3 tails 4 trunks and 6 feet ?

An elephant with spare parts !el

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

What's the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt

Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!"

Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't?

Aardvarks don't have trunks!

What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?

A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

What did the elephant say to the horn-less rhino?

Rhino horn "

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What does an Elephant use as a tampon?

A sheep